19 Weird Hawaiian Laws That Will Make You Say What?

Aloha, fellow adventurers!
As a native Hawaiian, I know firsthand how bizarre our local laws can be. Just last week, we nearly got into trouble for having two mai tais on our table at once (who knew that was illegal?).

After living here all my life and working as a local tour guide, I’ve collected some of the most peculiar laws that make our paradise unique. So grab your coconut drink, and let’s dive into 30 of the weirdest Hawaiian laws that’ll make you say “Auwe!” – that’s “Oh my!” in Hawaiian.

It’s illegal to put coins in your ears in Hawaii.

I guess Hawaii wants to make sure everyone can hear the ocean waves and ukulele music clearly. But seriously, who even thinks to stick coins in their ears in the first place? Magicians, you’ve been warned.

In Honolulu, you can’t annoy birds in public parks.

Hawaii really loves its birds. But what exactly constitutes “annoying” a bird? Staring contest? Bad bird puns? Guess it’s best to just admire them from afar to avoid any legal trouble.

It’s illegal to have more than one alcoholic drink in front of you at a time.

No double fisting mai tais in Hawaii. Apparently they want you to really savor each sip of that tropical concoction. But what if you’re really thirsty?

Billboards are banned in Hawaii.

Hawaii values its natural scenic beauty so much that it was the first U.S. state to outlaw billboards way back in the 1920s. So you’ll have to rely on your smartphone for restaurant recommendations instead of giant roadside ads.

It’s illegal to get a tattoo behind your ear or on your eyelid in Hawaii.

Unless a doctor is present for some reason. I’m imagining physicians moonlighting at tattoo parlors now. “I’ll take the anchor on my eyelid, doc!”

As of 2014, police can’t legally have sex with prostitutes in Hawaii anymore.

I’m more shocked that this was allowed before 2014. Glad Hawaii finally closed that odd loophole. Better late than never?

It’s illegal to use imitation milk in a milkshake without warning in Hawaii.

Hawaii takes its dairy very seriously. But what exactly is imitation milk? Soy milk? Almond milk? Milk from imaginary cows? The people deserve to know what’s in their milkshakes.

An old law makes it illegal to sink the Hawaiian islands.

I have so many questions. How would one even go about sinking an island? Why did they need to make a law for this? Is Hawaii’s ultimate nemesis a cartoon supervillain?

Twins aren’t allowed to work for the same company in Hawaii.

I guess Hawaii doesn’t want any Parent Trap shenanigans in the workplace. But what if you’re a triplet? Asking for a friend.

You can’t use dynamite, poison or electric current to catch fish in Hawaii.

Seems like a no-brainer, but I suppose they had to spell it out. Stick to the old fashioned fishing pole, folks. No need to go all action movie hero on unsuspecting fish.

It’s illegal to feed sharks in Hawaii.

But what if the shark looks really hungry and gives you puppy dog eyes? Kidding, definitely don’t feed wild sharks, no matter how cute they may seem. Hawaii’s just looking out for your safety here.

It’s illegal to drive with hazard lights on in Hawaii.

Hazard lights are for when your car is stopped on the side of the road, not for making your way through Honolulu traffic. You’ll have to let people know how you really feel some other way.

Buildings can’t be taller than palm trees in some parts of Hawaii.

Kauai really committed to the whole “tropical paradise” aesthetic. But what if there’s a coconut shortage one year and all the palm trees are tiny? Guess it’ll be a bad year for architects.

It’s illegal to ride in the back seat of a car without a seatbelt, but riding in the bed of a pickup truck with no safety equipment is A-OK.

Safety first! Except if all the seats are full. Then it’s a free-for-all in the truck bed I guess? Choose your seat wisely.

You can’t take sand from Hawaii beaches.

I know the sand is soft and dreamy, but you’ll have to settle for taking pictures, not filling up your suitcase. Hawaii’s beaches are a precious natural resource, not your personal sandbox.

It’s illegal to own a mongoose as a pet in Hawaii.

Mongooses were originally introduced to Hawaii to control the rat population in sugar cane fields. Turns out they prefer bird eggs though. Oops. Now it’s illegal to own one as a pet to protect native bird species. Stick to cats and dogs, people.

It’s illegal to eat genetically-modified organisms (GMOs) in Maui County.

Maui said “aloha” to GMOs in 2014 when it passed a law banning the cultivation of genetically engineered crops. But enforcing an eating ban is a bit trickier. Guess you’ll have to interrogate your papaya before each bite.

It’s illegal to drive a car while wearing a hat that obstructs your view in Hawaii.

Safety first, fashion second. If your hat is so big that you can’t see the road, you might want to rethink your accessory choices. Or just take an Uber.